Thursday's Story: Hey Y'all! Watch This!!

I live in a small community and our houses are close together. Sooner or later something I'm doing is going to get on a neighbor's nerves. And someone is going to get on mine.
   

Bynum Front Porch's Sunshine Library     
      Leave one. Take one. Any bench will do.

Then I turn on the tv to escape... wrong. 

   

Then I go on Facebook to surf.... nope. Can't hide there either. 

   

Then there is YET ANOTHER ZOOM MEETING.
   
And then the INtERnEtS is down. DOWN. 
Down. 
Down. 
D-O-W-N down. down. down.
   
Have you ever felt like the whole world, us included, needs to take a deep breath? Pretend to be at the beach for a week? Wait. We can't. We have on masks. And. There was that hurricane....
   
We are living in paradise and the World's angst even seems to have made it here ... Here. Even to our precious Bynum.

   

Isn't it time for one of us idiots to say, "Hey yall. Watch this. Let's get out 2-3 water hoses and make that giant bank above the turbine building into a mudside!!! Are the FIRE ANTS gone?" Yes. I definitely think it is time for some shenanigans. 

   
I have found when I am feeling bad - out of whack - worried.... if I do something good for someone else. No matter how small. It makes me feel better.
   
And when someone does something outrageous. Unexpected. It makes us laugh. When we laugh we breathe deeply. Ah.
   
We need a parade.
   
Stargazing on the bridge with our chairs ten feet apart. 

   

A water balloon fight at the ballfield.
   
Chalk art on the streets... All the streets.
   
A giant weed whacking party in my yard???
   
I know. Let's put the speakers on the porch. Crank up the stereo with that Donna Summer CD we all have. Still. AND DANCE IN THE STREETS.
   

"Hey y'all. Watch this!!" Most brilliant words. Ever. Spoken.

All my love. Cindy

@cynthiaraxter

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Thursday's Story: Haw River Rescue

A story I told for my birthday! Help me celebrate this year by watching and enjoying!

I hope all are well. Love, Cindy

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Thursday's Story: Ree and Christmas

Thursday's Story
   

I was in the stores today. They were pulling out Christmas "stuff" - Santa-shaped platters and sparkly baubles... potholders that light up and play Rudolf.... So much will end up - if not in the landfill - in the thrift shop come January.

It made me think about 'Ree - Marie Whitmire - the little wiry, sweet, tough and funny red-haired mountain lady that took care of me and my sisters and brother when we were growing up.

She never looked a day older that 14. There was always a look of joy on her face - in seeing the sun shine, the chickens set, the beds made - babies well fed.

After I went to college I'd come home to the mountains for Christmas and first thing, I'd go see 'Ree. When I asked her what she wanted me to get her for Christmas, likely as not she would say, "Your moma is getting me a chicken so I can make a pot of chicken and dumplings. I don't need a thing!"

I finally learned to stop asking. I'd bring her Arnold Coconut Macaroons and a scarf I'd knitted or a quilted vest - something warm. She lived in a cabin on the top of "Blue Ridge" - one of the world's beautiful spots - and the wind always blows there. And she loved coconut.

I can smell the wood smoke and flannel now. She cooked on a wood cook stove.... She'd give me a bowl of pintos and corn bread and hand me a big spoon - I think the size of the spoon was a point of pride.

After supper we'd listen to Country and Western records with her son Charles. Between Loretta Lynn and Conway and Bill Monroe her husband Stein would be telling stories. He knew everything and everybody.

And 'Ree was always piecing a quilt - pulling small colorful scraps of fabric from a black Hefty bag taller than her, stitching by hand. Me and my sisters all sewed back then. There was an never ending supply of scraps... 'Ree sewed them into quilts one stitch after another.

Now as I spread a quilt on the bed I recognize a skirt I made, a niece's jumper, my sister's Easter dress... tiny stitches... I have two quilts from 'Ree and two from Aunt Myrtle - they are my prized possessions.

Today. As I looked at the Christmas Kleenex and Christmas Oreos and Christmas bell-shaped-Jello molds... I knew I didn't need any of that to have a happy Christmas.

I'd love a bowl of pintos. A big spoon to eat them with. The smell of woodsmoke, flannel and hot cornbread. Chet Atkins on the stereo. Stein telling stories. Ree piecing a quilt... .

I hope your Christmas is everything you want it to be - and coconut macaroons.

Goodnight, Cindy

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Thursday Story Planting Corn

Thursday's Story: Planting Corn
by Cynthia Raxter 

My dad grew up along the French Broad River in Brevard NC, on a dairy farm. He was the oldest son of 14 children - born 1921. They farmed in the spring and summer and logged in the winter.

He said down by the river the corn field was so long, he'd plow down and back, and he'd have to have a biscuit. Twice again and it'd be time for lunch.  After lunch six more rows, and it was time to do the milking and get the chickens in.

When the days were long in the summer - like now - he'd get another row or two in before dark.

He wasn't plowing with a tractor - they worked mules. There was one Ford pickup on the farm to haul milk to town. (Daddy said he never had to mow ditch banks - his sisters - my aunts kept them cleaned out learning to drive.) All work was done by hand and with draft animals.

With mules you don't say, "Stop!" "Go!" "Turn right!" or "Turn left" - you say "whoa and giddyup" (which we all hopefully know from watching Bonanza!). To turn right you say "gee." To turn left, "haw."

"Gee and haw" was significant again just a few years ago:

I was home in the mountains, washing dishes with my mom. My dad was in the den. And my Jack Russel, Rascal, sneaked in despite the "no dogs in the house" rule.

Daddy wanted to read the newspaper. She wanted attention. She kept trying to jump in his lap and he kept fussing, "Rascal get off of me!" "RASCAL you're messing up my newspaper!" "Stop it RASCAL!!!"

After about five minutes, I looked at my mom and rolled my eyes and wiped the soapy water off my hands. Jack Russels - the more excited you get the more excited they get! And my father was past red-faced mad.

"Daddy Daddy Daddy! You have to say 'Rascal down!'" Rascal immediately stopped spring-jumping off the ottoman, and plopped her little bottom on the rug, and looked at me! "Okay Mom! WHAT WE DOING NEXT?"

This just made my father madder. "What's wrong with saying 'Get off of me!!!!'???"

How could I explain this? "Daddy, Rascal doesn't speak English. It's like... like... the mules on the farm... to go right or left..."

He finished my sentence, "...you say gee or haw!" He laughed. "You've taught her some English words! She's does what you say... Well! Most of the time!"

I laughed too. And realized for the first time in a long time, me and my father were talking - not just butting heads.

From then on when I was up home, I was showing Dad Rascal's new tricks. Then he'd take her to the feed store or the post office and show the fellers. Those years - me, him, Rascal - before Parkinson's took over... well... that time was golden.

Later, I started telling stories to children. The "gee and haw" stories and one more always seemed to be told together. Finally I realized, this last story was when my dad and his father learn to talk to each other - not just butt heads:

My father was planting corn in that long cornfield. Two kernels in a hole - a hand-width apart. Two kernels in a hole - a hand-width apart. Two kernels in a hole.... Can you imagine how long it would take a 10 year old boy to plant that field of corn? He got about halfway across and he dropped the bag of seed.

It was 1931 - the Depression - and they still had to spend money to buy seed corn.

Corn doesn't breed true. Field corn will cross with sweet corn. When it does, your field corn will rot in the silo, and your Silver Queen will be too tough to knaw.

Give my dad credit - he was only 10! "I picked it up... well, most of it." And what kernels were left he covered over and ruffled up the dirt so none would be wiser.

But we all know what happened. Spring! "And the sun comes out and dries up all the rain...."

When Papa walked in the barn my dad said he knew he was in trouble before Papa even spoke.

"Come with me, Calvin."

Across the farmyard and the old farm road and over the fence into that big old cornfield. And, there. In the middle. A hundred corn plants were growing up in a wad.

Daddy said Papa didn't whoop him, he didn't chastise him - he just looked at him and said real quiet, "Calvin, learn yourself good: no matter where you go and what you do, your sins shall find you out."

c. 2012 cynthia kay raxter

Bynum Front Porch Storytelling

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Come join us for Moon Pies, RC Colas and stories! 6:30pm - 9pm on second Saturdays in Bynum. At the historic Bynum General Store, 950 Bynum Rd. Pittsboro, NC.

May 13 lineup: Bynum storyteller Cynthia Raxter, Gretchen McNeely, Russell Davis, The Monti winner Sam Pearsall, +ReVonda Crow-Storyteller and emcee Mark Brady! Food. Fun. Friends. Fabulous!

Check out the Facebook Event  or follow me on Twitter @CynthiaRaxter to keep up with the goings on!  

See you real soon! Love, Cindy

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Bynum Front Porch Storytelling

A new Bynum Front Porch series! A monthly storytelling show at the Bynum General Store! Family friendly - most enjoyed by those 8 and above! 

May's storytellers: Judith Valerie, Garry Lipson, Henry Vogel and Roger Manus

- hosted by Bear Creek humorist, Candice Knotts!

Lemonade and cookies at 6:30 - the stories start at 7pm! 

We'll be passing the hat for donations. 20% of proceeds go to the Bynum Front Porch organization!

For more information contact me: 919-444-9535 or email 
     CynthiaRaxter@Gmail.Com 

The Facebook Event for May is:         https://www.facebook.com/events/176442042740267/

Hope you can come! Love! Cindy

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Thursdays Story - A Rascally Tale!

Thursday's Story 

vol. 3 no. 6

A Rascally Tale

** Written on September 14, 2001 **

Rascal is my new dog, a Jack Russell Terrier. She is a bit over a year old -- rambunctious... and as cute as puppies come. She has been my salvation this week also. She knows nothing about "tragedy" - just that life is good and the weather has been fine.

Last night she started barking under/at the kitchen table. Like there was a squirrel or opossum under there. Sometimes there is an opossum under there.... but not last night. 

Just the cat food bucket, the dog food bucket and the bird seed bucket. Five gallons each. Tightly closing lids. It would be a prime spot for an invading opossum! But not last night.

Then. Hiding in the back... behind the buckets... I found a Christmas decoration/ toy Moma gave me last year. It is a reindeer about 10 inches tall. He is in "Santa Town Jail": plastic bars, plastic padlock, handcuffs -- all.

When you press his hoof that has a hol't of the bars, he shivers and shakes and sings "Grandma Got Ran Over By a Reindeer." 

It is a favorite with visiting children! To the point -- it is usually hidden by me or a mom to preserve our sanity. In fact, I think Carol Payne stuck it behind the bird seed bucket during a party in June.

So last night, when Rascal saw this guilty reindeer in my hand, she laid down almost flat. And she increased her volume of ruckus considerably. 

I sat it down on the floor so she would know it was just a toy.... and as I did she jumped backwards 10 feet into the living room.... still raising all kinds of commotion, sticking her head out around the door. RoooooW RooooW ROooooW RoooooW RoooooW! And if I could imagine it, it was even louder than before.

 An important point. The barking was not "afraid" but: "ALARM! ALARM! ALARM!"

I reached down to get, as I call it, the Indicted Reindeer... and noticed as I picked it up.... the hoof -- the "Press Me" hoof -- it had a tiny tiny--very very small tear in its upholstery. 

Perchance? A small dog... hadst she chewed upon it? 

I pressed the hoof. 

Rascal backflipped and dove, back'ards-first under the couch. 

Hmmmm hmmmm hmmm.... Grandma got run over by a reindeer..... and, a chorus of "RoooooW RooooW ROooooW RoooooW RoooooW!" emanating from somewhere near the dust ruffle..... 

Thank you Rascal. Thank you. 

My love to you all, Cindy

Cynthia Raxter
P.O. Box 182

Bynum, NC 27312

919-444-9535
CynthiaRaxter@gmail.com

Watch: http://vimeo.com/115031922
YouTube: http://www.youtube.com/user/RaxterCyn/videos
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Read:

ChapelBoro.com

"Dollar Bills Coming Down in Raindrops"

"The Small Street B&B in Pittsboro"

December 2014

Cynthia Raxter, Storyteller
   

Tuesday December 2 - Storytelling

The Village Storytellers
Sola's Coffee Cafe
Lead Mine Road
7-9pm - Raleigh

Thursday December 4 - Standup

Open Mic

Corner Tavern and Grill

Maynard Road 

8pm - Cary

Saturday December 6 - Standup

Family Friendly Open Mic 

Goodnights Comedy Club

West Morgan Street

1pm - Raleigh

https://www.facebook.com/events/791612777568518/

Saturday  December 6 - Storytelling

The Big LOL ("Lighting Of Leg"} - An Evening Of Holiday Joy And Merriment!

Cackalacky's Where House

Chatham Mills

480 Hillsboro Street

6-10pm - Pittsboro

Monday December 8 - Standup 

Cure for the Mondays' 

Tir Na Nog Irish Pub

S. Blount Street

8:30pm - Raleigh

Tuesday December 9 - Workshop

Bynum Comedy Writers Workshop

Bynum General Store

950 Bynum Road

6-9pm - Bynum

Thurdsday December 11 - Standup

Neptunes Comedy Open Mic End of the Year Holiday Blowout

Kings 

Morgan Street 

8:00pm - Raleigh

Saturday December 13 - Standup

Family Friendly Open Mic

Goodnights Comedy Club

Morgan Street 

1:00pm - Raleigh

Monday December 15 - Standup

Comedy Smashatron Open Mic

Linda's Bar and Grill

East Franklin Street

8:30pm - Chapel Hill 

Tuesday December 16 - Standup

Open Mic

Caroling in Bynum on December 21!

Goodnights Comedy Club

Morgan Street 

8:00pm - Raleigh

Wednesday December 17 - Standup 

Family Friendly Open Mic

Pittsboro Roadhouse

West Street

6:30-8:30pm - Pittsboro

Wednesday December 17 - Standup

Open Mic

The City Tap

Salisbury Street

8:30-11pm - Pittsboro

Friday December 19 - Interview

The Wacqueline Stern Radio Show

Livestream at http://wcomfm.org/ on Friday, December 19th at 6pm.

Listen on the radio WCOM 103.5 FM on Friday, December 19th at 6pm. 

Or watch the Vimeo: http://vimeo.com/user1658330/videos

Or get podcast online at: http://feeds.feedburner.com/wcomfm/WEROA

The show is also broadcast on 
The Peoples' Channel on Tuesday at 11am

Durham Community Media on Wednesday at 4pm
http://thepeopleschannel.org/tvschedule

   

                    Happy Christmas!

  

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